So I don’t want to talk about pain because pain and fatigue dominates my day, my thinking, my breathing, my sleeping. So let’s talk about what I do that is good, and pleasant, which is this case is saving toward my DREAM backpack (for either me OR my wheelchair - keep reading) as well as some of the things I do; from restaurants to ordering things online (Don’t worry, I will talk little and there will be lots of pictures).
First off let’s go back to the weekend, because it wasn’t ALL just postcard and postcards and sexy dress up on the corner with men hooting (though that tends to be what I remember), we also went out for Mexican. And here we are at our favorite place, with our strawberry margaritas.
And no, I did not go and get all ‘innocent schoolgirl’ on the corner AFTER drinking, oddly I did that cold sober. There was however one particularly startling time when I looked over an a 7-8 year old girl was there (with a teddy like mine actually) and she looked at me and asked, “What are you doing?” And while I am thinking, “ABOUT TO GO TO PRISON....from the look on your father’s face!"), Cheryl said, “We’re playing ‘Dress Up’” (Thank you Cheryl!). And the little girl got it right away and kind of smiled and seemed to want to be IN some of the pictures. Her father, whose mind was elsewhere (dirty mind, dirty mind, not like mine, which is pure and innocent, that’s why I made sure the thong strap was showing) quickly called her repeatedly to come far away from me. But, hey when Maggie and Cheryl went to the Cemetery in May we ALL did “dress up”, you can go back and see the pictures!Okay, new topic: I have looked all over the net (like done a bunch of searches) and as far as I can tell there are about 15 “Postcard Projects” of one kind or another. However, the others are where people want other people to send IN postcards and the person doing the project wants postcards from every state in the USA for example. Mine so far seems to be the only one where you give your name and address and you GET a postcard. And now there are, well about 130-150 people on the list. So I do think I will reach my thousand postcards sent out (my goal) if I can pace myself and I don't obsess or get out of control. Hopefully everyone will get three to six postcards or so if I make it to the finish of the project.
What people don’t ask is, “How does Beth get her postcards?” At first it was just stock of postcards while I was IN Japan. Then those left over from Japan, and then that ran out. And now, some people SEND postcards which I use and send out again and you can see in pictures some of the postcards that people have sent in for me to send back out. But for the majority of the postcards, like the 31 so far this weekend/Monday, I get my postcards....wait for it....one at a time (no, that isn't Zen, I am being literal - read on!).
Yup, I actually go and search out a variety of sites and referrals and webpages every day to find postcards. And I have a fixed amount that I can spend on each postcard (about $1.50, a little more for rarities) so that limits it as well. So for example here is a postcard I bought today.
That’s right, one card (and a pretty cool shrine maiden one at that!). I try to buy a few cards from each vendor as it helps with the postage costs but today I got in the post, three postcards from Japan: those I ordered over six weeks ago. So I buy a postcard, I wait for it to come, I sort them, then I start the five to six stages of the postcard project and post 30 or 32 a week. So the prep work IS a large part of the postcard project. But I want people to get COOL cards, postcards like this one here which has a nice little see through Anime cell build right into the postcard. 
So yes, this is one I bought two weeks ago, I am waiting for it to arrive. One postcard at a time.So when sometimes the postcards are damaged, that gets me very sad, because it takes so much effort to get them here. So for example, one of the cards from Japan was damaged, they offered me to take another one so I ordered this one.
The postcard still hasn’t arrived (but it will). I like the postcard for many reasons (it has a cat AND do you notice that the anime character and I have the EXACT same Kyoto Bamboo umbrella? Neat!). So it is about 10 weeks so far in waiting for this card. And I could hold on to it and look at it now and then but instead I usually within a few days process it and start sending it out. That is what the purpose of the postcard project is after all. And yeah, sometimes I send out collectable postcards. But it seems I collected them.....for you.I am not sure how many hours a week I spend buying postcards. Now that I have done it a while I am often contacted, as I was today by a seller who had some new Yaoi cards and I ended up buying seven from them, that took about 90 minutes (they will arrive in two weeks or so). But sometimes it takes an hour or two and you get no cards that day, or that week. And sometimes you hit a jackpot and sometimes you just find one – but it is the RIGHT one, like this Gothic Loli postcard I got yesterday (with cat ears!).
So now I am waiting for this to be shipped from Japan (where I get some of my cards, some from the UK, some from New Zealand, some Australian, Singapore and from around the USA).And the same is true of getting ‘surprises’, I try to hunt them out, one at a time and then find the right person for them. For instance here is a small stationary set of Hello Kitty as a Maiko, an apprentice Geisha.
So I have ordered and paid for this limited edition and soon it will be shipped. Arrive here, and then I will try to find someone to “surprise” with it along with a few other things. I don’t get out much. But I do work as much as I can.Of course, the problem is that when you are spending so much time looking for postcard and things for others occasionally you might find something for yourself…like this nice Pencil Board from Japan (De Capo II).
It was only a couple dollars and after all that hard work….I needed a reward to look forward to right? Right?My big thing which I have been trying to save up for and if all goes well I will have the money to pay for in about 10 days is this backpack from Japan.
It is by the designer h.naota (who does some rare and kick-ass Hello Kitty stuff). It is very adjustable so that it can be worn on any back but also I think on any wheelchair. And, most important it comes in COOL red spiderweb punk pattern! Yes it is $88 BUT, I have a 10% off coupon so the shipping from Japan is free! I could get it from a limited retailer in the states online but they are selling it for $198.95 plus shipping. So I will go with the Japan order, I think. The satchel doesn’t just look cool it also closes with a flap (and some punk pins!)
so that people with limited hand use like me can open it. Plus instead of just a giant space like my ti-lite one, it has LOTS of pockets so I can put things like “cold break packs”, pain meds, my emergency pack with money and stuff, and even a book in all the different pockets. 
So right now, that is my dream, I just have to hope they don’t run out of them in the next 10 days (NO, don’t go and buy them, that one is MINE!). I haven’t had a lot to look forward to in a major way as our trip to San Fran seems a little delayed (thanks to our Tax return for 2007 still being reviewed…and 2006: they have finally sent a letter to say, "Yes, the Canadian Government accept I have a disability.....please let them know when I get better or die so they can remove the tax credit").So that’s today’s post, I wanted something where you could see what I do, which is that I still use my brain, keep track of dozens of objects, find the right thing for the right people. And yes, I know that I could get postcards in bulk – but they wouldn’t be THOSE postcards, they wouldn’t be the right postcard for the right person.
And I try, even when the pain and my rather certain future makes it feel like a cold grey planet where nothing seems to matter anymore, to find dreams, like a sweet spiderweb punk backpack for my wheelchair. I am also still trying to get out, even a little, four or five days a week, I didn’t today but I WILL tomorrow and I did yesterday (saw a black squirrel – need to go visit squirrels!).
I hope in your pain and your situation that you can have a dream, or something to look forward to. I have been selling off my stuff on ebay to get money for the backpack. I saved stuff for years so that I would have DVD’s to watch for the rest of my life; well, turns out I won’t have that much time so...on to ebay they go. Hurts, but hey, once they are sent off to a new home, I am sure I will happy, and right now, I want that backpack more than the collected film works of Stephen Fry (sorry Fry). So, if you have a dream coming up, I’d like to hear about it!
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