
We all get into the study and do the ‘matching’, which is the longest part of the process and takes 4-12 hours. That is where we go through, I usually go through the hundreds of postcards looking for the right one. And if there is a family of six, that means not just six individual postcards picked for each person, but that no stamps or stickers the same can be put on two family members postcard (because who wants to get a postcard EXACTLY like your brother/sister – makes you feel ‘not special’ – and that is the exact opposite of what we try to do). After the matching we do the stamping. That means we clear the two hospital tables, and fill them with stamps and ink, and then bring the stool next to my power chair.

Some people are very pristine with stamps and ink. Since we are doing a stack each and working sometimes though the night, we are not pristine, as you can see here.

First, as we had 7 or 8 new stamps that week (we have invested in getting new stamps, now our problem is in getting more ink!), we had to try them out with the various types of ink and paper, so on gloss, is the distressed ink too much, does plum make it ‘pop’ or should that be purple? We do five to ten of each stamp to get an idea and then get going on the postcards. For a family, one person does the whole family at the same time, to make sure there are unique stamps on each postcard.
That evening, there were issues as I had low blood pressure and wasn’t responding to heart or other medicine and with heart erratics kept passing out.

People wonder, “How can you get that many postcards done?” and the answer is sort of like, “How do you run a marathon?” I don’t, I run one step and then I run another and another. Yeah, I feel crap, but so does Cheryl sometimes, it is just get on with getting on, whether that is blowing blood out of your nose or just waking up and trying to do another stamp until you start feeling better.
The dialogue is like this
Beth: “What does the Rabbit go best in?”
Cheryl: “Denim Blue”
Beth, “No, it’s a slick card, feel that.”
Cheryl: “Just the royal blue then.”
Linda: “Can you pass me the black and that flower from last time, the one I do green.”

Beth, “Wha? The flower you do green? What does that mean? That makes no sense.”
Cheryl: “Here it is,” (passes a stamp of a flower over), “it was under the dancing skeleton.”
Beth turns on Cheryl, “Flower in green and you KNOW what that means?”
Cheryl shrugs.
Beth “Oh, did you say dancing skeleton? I am doing a goth card, I can use that!”
Later.
Cheryl: “Is she pressing that big Lion still”
Linda: “No, I think she’s passed out.”
“Tilt her back”
Linda pushed my head back. After 30 second, “Come on Beth, breathe, you gotta breathe,” 20 more seconds, “come on Beth, breathe.”
I’ve woken up but I can’t get my lungs to expand, my throat is expanding, as I try to open my mouth and gulp air in but I am too tired.
Linda pulls me upright and lifts my torso free, and I gasp air and breath for a minute.
Beth, “So was I doing the windsurfer who lives in Oklahoma?”
Linda: “Why don’t we call it a night?”
Beth: “Why, I only have three…er….six….a couple to go.”
Linda: “And…..they will still be here tomorrow.”
Beth whines, “Nooooooo!”
Linda: “I think you not breathing is a bad sign.”
Beth: “But I’m breathing NOW!?”
That’s pretty much a typical night except a lot more, ‘Look at this’ when we do a good stamp and trying out difference colours and ‘how did you get that?” and then trying to make the same image.

The next morning, after 3 to 6 hours of sleep, I am in the study with stickers and the black ink government pens which won’t run. And the table has the stickers on it, so I can put stickers on the postcards, some weeks are sticker heavy and we sticker each card first and some I do it all afterward, and then I write them all. I am covered with this fleecy blanket of Kit the Kat, skelanimals, that Linda found for me – you know, because Love never Decays.

That’s the stamping process, it starts Friday and can take the whole weekend, but I try not to do that, though it does seem to take up part of Saturday evening every week. We have to talk to try and remember what stamps we did for the person before, what postcards we sent, what they liked, if they emailed and what they said. Some stamps we can only do by size, if the postcard is large enough or if there is time. For example this stamp, takes about five minutes more to do.

And after all this banter and back and forth and talking and passing around stamps and debating and saying, “Well this looks good so far…….are you going to risk another stamp?” We end up with this, the finished postcard, ready for writing (and stickers).

So that is the postcard project process, at least the ink to the paper process. Before I go, I would really like to recommend the manga book Bunny Drop.

The manga brings up the worry and frustration of trying to think of everything and failing, as we do, being human and all. Even though the people we take care of, from children to seniors are often the most vulnerable. And I learned recently how vulnerable and weak I have become. It is good for me too see both sides, and realize how hard care giving really is. Being ill doesn’t have respite, and I can’t say, “That’s it, I’m crap at this illness, I quit.” But care giving is the gift which only love really gives, as it isn’t easy, and pushes you as a person. I’m glad to see that shown, but also the vulnerability of the one being cared, and the cost to them. As we say, “Elizabeth pays. If Beacon workers forget, if Doctors screw up, if Linda forgets, in the end, Elizabeth pays.” That is the nature of a high care need illness.
Almost time to start preparing for more postcards!
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