While "Waiting to Happen": Reading Recommendation of the week

Onward! Today I caught up on sleep, and slept in for the first time in several years. I hear that this is common with an increase in pain medication as the fatigue builds up when the pain brings me awake. Also, due to being weak from a long series of seizures on Friday (I think?), where Linda found me fallen on the floor in the study and having seizures. I continued having many more which made the weekend, my ‘rest from the hospital time’ instead a ‘strange bruises and exhaustion from seizures’ time. Also in the final weeks of life, a person sleeps more, but I have decided to go with the ‘fatigue’ theory, and decide that after several years of 'go, go, go', one day of sleeping in is okay, particularly as I couldn’t get up (I was supposed to go to boxing, but was unable).

It feels like life is waiting to happen. My body simply doesn’t have the stamina to cut corners or push myself anymore. Things take how long they take, whether that is 40 minutes to pee, or an hour to eat a meal. And I need to sleep eight full hours and have a 2 hour nap. If I don’t, I simply can’t get up. Plus, cutting corners means my heart fails for the last six hours of the day. I do not recommend this.

In order to have enough energy to keep my heart beating in a way that does not tax or stress my other body functions, I can only do one thing a day. And even then, I can accidentally go over. It is hard to relax.

Saturday I matched postcards, but was unable to stamp them because of some sort of fatigue which occurred (my memory is blurry due to seizures from around then). So I will work on them this week. Did you know that with Linda and Cheryl’s help I did 220 postcards in March? This means more than 6,000 individual postcards have been posted. Many postcards sent this month were from readers who sent in the best (and lest I get attached, out they go again), some were museum quality ones I got from an estate, and some were saved to send and beat back the grey ‘blah’ which exists between winter and before the arrival of spring.
Linda and I have been working on an ebay auction of some of the manga sets as well as Region 2 and 4 DVD’s which will start in auction on Thursday. I hope this will help provide some emergency funds for after April and help me get some supplies in Seattle (as due to a special 'grant a wish', I am going to Sakura-Con, as much as that is possible for me). Though I am still waiting for my celebrity make-a-wish, which was a baby oil massage by Angelina Jolie OR giving corporal punishment to the head of Ex-Gay ministries. I don’t know why he won’t, as it is for a poor dying nun (well, I’ve sex cosplayed a nun), and I’m calling it ‘reparative therapy’. Until then, saving for the Seattle supply run of shopping.Due to a year and a half economizing, there are many things which are needed:

a) haircut – I have my hair in braids all the time due to tangles as I had my hair cut last for last year’s Sakura-con
b) panties – down to three pair, and two are the kind which one is advised not to end up in the hospital in (Go go Victoria Secret!).
c) Socks – two pair, these two pair are gifts from the last time I asked if anyone would make socks for me. I have tried to make them last as long as possible, as I don’t want to have to ask again, but I really, badly need a few new pairs of socks
d) Melon and Lumina soda: this is japanese flavors of soda available at KK, a Japanese store in Seattle. I also get the stickers I send on postcards there.
e) Toothbrushes: something good to have after a year. My bristles are all flat...odd that.f) Sleepshirts – I have three sleepshirts, which are two years old, so I am needing some more, as when I combine hand shaking, neuropathy and food and you can imagine the problems over time.
g) Summer tops – The Edema isn’t going away, so I need a few new tops which are comfortable but also 'cool' saying stuff like: ‘Halfway in the grave, and if you piss me off, I’ll take you with me!’ or ‘Zombie Busker: Brains much appreciated’ ("Zombie Grad Student: REALLY need more brains")
h) Olive Garden: Linda loves the Olive Garden, which is on the way to Sakura-con, and I want to treat her to the lunch buffet ($7.99). She does a LOT for me, so a favorite lunch in a strange and foreign land (Tacoma?) seems a start to the thank you's.
i) Earrings: I seem to have 12 of one earring in a set, where the others have gone off to, I don’t know, I think emo boys keep sneaking into my house and taking them (girls would take both earrings, right?).
j) Hair Conditioner: I have ‘baby fine’ hair due to the Autoimmune disease so I have to use a specific conditioner good for baby fine, with tangles and delicate hair (I make this last by using it once a week and then braiding).
k) Old Navy: Linda has already been working at her part time job for the conservation, weddings and concerts at the Saint Anne’s Academy, which requires her to have some new professional tops, best picked up at Old Navy in Seattle for $5-$12.
l) Red Vines: Sometime during my seizures, I suddenly twigged to needing Red Vine liquorice. Since I don’t get hungry, I assume that the portion where my like of Red Vines lies in my brain got zapped, turning on the idea of a ‘good taste’, though I taste very little at all.
m) Haribo: from the gummy bears, to the balckberry and raspberry gummies, I love the Haribo products, and they are ‘fat free’. And work well as if I don’t eat every few hours a little, I get low blood sugar, also, sugar helps me boost my blood pressure at times when I can’t take another heart pill or caffine.

So, that is part of my big shopping trip, which I am raising funds for by selling DVD’s of military, crime and series from Amazon UK, as well as some rare complete manga sets I have been keeping for reading. There will also be some Graphic Novels, if there is time to prep to sell them, yaoi, action, Viz Signature line.

My reading recommendation this week is Chew: Taster's Choice, which won not only best indie graphic novel for 2008-2009 but also every significant award out there from the Eisner to the Harvey’s. I typically don’t recommend US graphic novels because they aren’t tightly written, mind blowingly good, like this one. The two authors decided to not go the commercial route but write again and again, books until one got published that was so good it immediately went on the New York Times Best Seller list. On Amazon, it has an ‘intro’ price, and is part of the 4 books for the price of 3 offers and can combine with regular fiction, manga or graphic novels, so if you want to try something humorously different with your spring/summer reading, pick up volume 1 of Chew for $7.50. (for those who want some other graphic novels on the 4 books for 3 offer, the Victorian True Crime series might tempt, like The Borden Tragedy: 1892 (Treasury of Victorian Murder (Graphic Novels)))

The tale Chew is of an alternate USA, where SARS spread, making chicken illegal, and poultry the hottest illegal drug out there, with ‘Speakeasy’s’ where chicken can be eaten, and new crime bosses who control the golden nuggets of the east side. And our hero, Tony Chu, works vice, who left drugs for the big bosses, the chicken smugglers. Tony’s brother is a famous chef, who went loco on his TV show one day, ranting about chicken conspiracies, while his partner John believes that all bosses who shout too much are due to pent up mano-a-mano sexual tension (a theory which comes up in stake outs, and John’s bed). Thow in the F.D.A. (now more powerful than homeland security), a Russian Telescope, Arctic Vampires, and a one sided crush between Tony the Cipopath (he connects psychically to what he eats…including victims or perps) and a newspaper food reviewer who can make people taste the food she writes about and you’ve touched the first dozen pages. It’s that tight, well written, and doesn’t say what a picture can tell and vice versa.

For those who enjoy a well crafted non-linear narrative, I recommend finding Lost At Seain your library or from Amazon. It is from Oni press, and is written by the author of the Scott Pilgrim books (or movie if you saw that instead about defeating the ‘evil ex’s’). Lost at Sea is about THAT road trip, the place and space in life, when you are with people, who seem to be bonding, or buddies and you aren’t. Indeed, you are lost at sea and only going because you don’t want to arrive. The book has a non-linear story telling that stays with you, and gives name to that emotion you feel at the end of the day, when you avoid the conclusion that lying in bed offers. It is stark, clean, engaging, and is read with pathos, seeing your emotions or life acted out in the pages of another’s hand.

A thanks to many people over the last three months. To let you know: If you use the Amazon links embedded in the post or wishlist link up on the right, Amazon gives me a gift certificate in 90-110 days with a total of couple percent of total purchase ($14 for example). This month, the first I got a certificate, that meant I got a graphic novel at the end of the month (4 days ago). Thank you everyone very much, I will pass it on as a gift when it arrives and is read. When you use the link, whether it is a gift for me or others, or shopping for you, anything you get from Amazon (for you, for others) for 30 minutes after using the link is credited a couple cents to the future gift card. I only have the Amazon link as I buy from Amazon, they have free shipping, I send Amazon gifts, buy with gift certificates and they have excellent customer service and returns. And this way, you can 'give' a gift to Linda or I if you chose simply by buying through here, or not.

Films and DVD’s next time. I just watched the BBC Sherlock and have a keen desire to a) avoid London traffic and b) see if I can get ‘acute thinking’ with nicotine patches.

The best Goth Girl books reviewed: undead and uninhibited

Welcome to the New Year of 2008! Or maybe it is 2006! I get confused on this. Sometimes Linda tells me these numbers, and I say, “So then the Mars Mission has left?” and she says no. Or I just burst out laughing because according to her we are living in the future. Between laughter I ask her where the flying cars are and how the moon base is doing. Luckily, whatever fantastical future year this is, books are still around (as is manga!). So, whatever year it is for you, Happy NEW YEAR.

Cheryl brought over a book I bought myself, Nemi (Volume 1) (v. 1). I do not remember how I know of this book, or why I bought it, as it is a hardcover book of a Swedish comic which has been translated into English but the book is in FULL colour. This is the joy of memory damage, every purchase is a surprise gift. Nice purple cover too!

The book Nemi (Volume 1) (v. 1) makes me laugh out loud, and often (to enlarge strips just click on them, then hit back arrow of browser to return). Linda says she likes it because she hasn’t heard me laugh so much in years. Nemi is a goth in her 20’s who has poor impulse control and an usual mind. She, along with her friend (with dyed blue hair) experience life, guys, sex, drink, and whatever Nemi thinks up to say. What is strange is that I have said some of those things (like telling children that grade school grades don’t count so just have fun, and eat lots of sugar before the teeth fall out!), and thought other of Nemi lines, so it is like a snapshot of my early 20’s. The author is a hot goth (picture in foreword) and the translation from Swedish to English seems great. There are two other Nemi books (now added to my Amazon Wishlist, hint!), but if you want a goth gal with a whack on the side of the head view of life (like when she gambles on arm wrestling and wins going, “The Weaker Sex my ASS!”), I recommend this. I also recommend using the link in the post because Amazon search dropped this book off the search engine...but I found it and ordered it...for some reason (if you know, tell me?). Amazon has Nemi (Volume 1) (v. 1) for about $10. Nemi 2 and Nemi 3 go for the same amount.

If you don't want the book for the burst out laughing, at least you now know a great gift for the goth girl you know (and are likely infatuated with! Um...unless it is your daughter, cousin, partner of friend: those gals, um, get the book for them, but love them, like a FRIEND)
I have made a few changes to the blog, including adding a page link at the top of the blog for people who want to know about my disease. It took six hours on Friday and some more today learning about adding ‘pages’ as a feature (Blogger is ‘so simple’, my ASS…er, I mean ‘Like not!’, see: Nemi and I are bonding into one! ). I have tried to keep it simple, you just click on the ‘About me and my disease’ button at the top of the page, and then ‘home’ to return to the main page.

And a reivew about more than just what it appears: the book called Generation Dead.It is considered a Young Adult book and one of the ‘supernatural’ series that is flooding the Young Adult market, but this book is different (though stand alone, a ‘series’ of books around it has been published at high speed and bad writing: accept no imitation, but only the original). The basic story is that odd USA marketed teen world, where things only happen in the US, everyone is white, no one is gay, no one, particularly no GIRLS have sex, and no one is disabled. In Generation Dead, a small percentage of teens in the US, for no known reason have been returning to life. While some theorize that it has to do with first person shooters, other ‘researchers’ think a combo of junk food and vitamins. But when the teens return, many have a hard time moving, and talking while others are a bit faster. Phoebe, the main character, goes to Oakvale High (like Berkley) which is a school friendly to the ‘living impaired’. Several new ‘living impaired’ have started this year including Tommy, a more active post-dead teen who tries out for the football team. This opens up the prejudice against ‘zombies’ as the coach tries to get players to cripple or stop the boy from joining. Phoebe, who is friends with Adam, her neighbor and a football player who used to be a bully but got centered through martial arts into not bullying, watches the practices and writes an evocative poem about Tommy which she gives to him. She isn’t in love, but she is...interested in him. And that interest grows.
The flip side is that Phoebe and her best friend Margi have to see in the halls their ex-friend Collette, who drowned, and yet is there, always 16, never getting older, and who has yet to speak to them. Through their reluctance to speak to Collette, and Margi’s hatred of the ‘living impaired’ there is a hidden story waiting to come out. Also, as others notice Pheobe, who is a goth, making moves to talk to Tommy, even sit with him on the bus, the idea that a LIVING, a hot goth living girl could be into…well, THEM brings out even more prejudice.
However, with Phoebe’s point of view, we find ourselves going from our own assumptions about the ‘living impaired’ to finding out they are individuals with a shared experience, but individuals but who have created a shared culture, humor and language. It took me a while but I started to recognize this as the experience of second generation immigrants, of LGBT kids who are open enough to have a group, to those who know they have an experience or viewpoint which alienates them from the majority. And it is a majority which makes assumptions and looks down on them. But also, because of that, it has forced them together, creating a unique culture of language, humor, and activities. The more Phoebe becomes part of their group, the more we wonder if the ‘living impaired’ talk so slow to the other students on purpose, to keep them away, and to keep themselves safe.

In Tommy and football, I could see myself and the frustrations I have had with the Y, where even AFTER I played volleyball, they are telling me that it is not possible, or not safe for me to play volleyball. The whole friendliness of the school and principal becomes suspect when the ‘living impaired’ start to want the same things as the rest of the students. Much like when the Y decided I needed to tell them, in advance, any activity I was going to do there….so they could ‘help me’. It is a book I think anyone who has, through religion, ethnicity, or other difference, experienced school in a way where keeping safe and not draw attention to yourself mixed with the need to speak, to have humor in life and life beyond the invisible limits imposed. Like disability, the question of ‘high functioning’ comes up along with ‘passing’, a term originated from when mixed black Americans of light skin would live as white, used now more for LGBT in schools or life, or Trans who live as their gender, which may not be the assigned one.

Much like any of these groups, there are those who are ‘living impaired’ and friends who want to educate, or help others understand them, or that they can do things like football. But there are also those of the ‘living impaired’ who want to separate, who say that the living will never understand, really. And that the majority is the group who is hurting them, who limits their rights and actions and so why spend time educating the people when your rights are unequal. While others want conflict in order to bring issues into the open and want to use people like Tommy and football to do it. These are some of the very attitudes I have read in various blog circles on the internet of those with shared experiences, including disability. As Phoebe drifts closer and closer to Tommy, and those who are friendly to the idea of hanging with the living, the tension from both those at school and the ‘living impaired’ increase. This book, Generation Dead by Daniel Waters is more than just a ‘zombie’ book but one in which I could see myself. Not just my disabled identity now but even my high school days. I went to a repressive high school, and created codes of language and facial expressions so I and others could say how we felt about things without drawing attention to ourselves from the authorities or those who sided with them.

The hardcover book Generation Dead is on sale at Amazon for $5 for the hardcover, and though I found it and read it at the library, I bought a first edition hardcover as part of Amazon’s clearance (or pay $9 for the paperback). Sometimes, like the book Stoner and Spaz, there are books which seem to speak to those who need to hear a voice saying, “You are not alone” the most.
This book transcends the whole supernatural element and brings to you the experience of getting to know the individuals of a different culture in a setting where it is dangerous to do so. You would think ‘wanting to know more’ or ‘getting to know someone’ couldn’t be dangerous, but we all know better. Generation Dead reminds the reader how many silent lines there are in our lives where those who are entitled and in control punish those who cross that line (like the extreme and viscous actions principals or School districts take over cross dressing or a gay date at the prom). My prom for example was divided by race, for example and there was a great deal of discussions and whether I would be expelled or not because I asked a black guy to dance, and did for one song. They decided that as I was graduating in three days, they would not expel me, but they did take away my ‘honors’ I was graduating with. Yeah, repressive school.

I bought two copies of Generation Dead, one for me, and one to give away, because the voice and story are so compelling and because I know others who can identify about being the ‘other’ or being the person who crossed the line in befriending the ‘other’. It may not win literary awards due to 'teen' status and the 'zombie' sublabel, but it is a well written and complex book. It was always interesting, unveiling my own assumptions while changing my viewpoint with a slight tongue in cheek (like the Z line, getting acceptance for the ‘living impaired’ through marketing of cool t-shirts, and body colognes – marketing exploitation is our friend?). As having a goth girl the main character in a school with a high population of kids who used to be dead is itself a tad tongue in cheek.

So a goth girl blog, and that, beyond drinking champagne (whee! look at all the colours!) that is what I did on my winter vacation!