Random Thoughts on The Expendables' Body Counts

I have unfortunately not gotten a chance to see The Expendables yet, but rest assured this situation will be rectified ASAP. I'm extremely proud this film out-did Eat Pray Love at the box office this past weekend and proved America still runs on testosterone (international readers, please let me know if your respective nations also use similar fuel).

This morning, Ryan sent me a link to Screen Rant's rad chart tallying up the body count notched by each Expendables principal in their prior roles (click this link and/or see below).

Some random thoughts after the pretty picture of manhood...

-I can't express how much I love that Dolph Lundgren's list starts with one kill from Rocky IV and that yes, it's that kill.

-Lundgren obviously scored a lot off his made-for-DVD movies most likely on his way to the top, but did he seriously off 41 people in Masters of the Universe? Far more than in two Universal Soldier flicks combined? Wow, no wonder I walked out of that movie scared as a kid (because apparently I was a little girl).

-Only Dolph Lundgren could still manage to kill two people in a movie called Jill The Ripper.

-Stallone killed somebody in Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot? AMAZING!

-In the first Rambo, Sly killed one person. In the next two, he slaughtered 151 people. Rambo IV is also far and away the top single deadliest movie of anybody on the list with 81 kills. And despite this, he still barely gets half of Lundgren's total. He really did break him.

-Ryan and I were both impressed that Jet Li got third with comparatively so few movies, but also a bit surprised that the list was so short given how long he's been around. What we reckon is in a lot of movies he just didn't kill anybody because, as Ryan put it: "He just likes to hurt."

-Bruce Willis killed more people in Cop Out than in Pulp Fiction. Just let that marinate.

-John Cerilli on "Stone Cold" Steve Austin: "I'm surprised his career isn't on that list after The Condemned." (I never saw The Condemned myself, but having moderated a panel with SCSA and Vinnie Jones on it to promote the movie in Wizard World L.A. a few years back and nearly having my hand broken by a fist bump from Mr. Austin's giant smoking skull ring, I would never call it anything but a modern classic)

-I'm sure if they included Old Spice commercials, Terry Crews could do better.

-Randy Couture is obviously a huge p*ssy.

Captain America & Black Widow in The Nanny Diaries

A random thought struck me this morning that this totally happened:

Chris "Captain America" Evans played the male romantic interest for Scarlett Johansson in this 2007 kinda-romantic comedy that I totally saw because Megan wasn't feeling well and I wanted to cheer her up (and she really wanted to see it). I am now replaying as many scenes as I can remember in my head with Evans' character as Cap and ScarJo's as the Black Widow.

It occurs to me that now that more or less the entire Avengers cast is out there and it's a pretty diverse group of actors, this type of thing could become a regular occurence as I scan through the film archive of my brain, and that makes me somewhat excited. I am a man of simple pleasures.

Random Thoughts on the 2010 Emmy Nominations

The 2010 Emmy nominations hit today and I’ve got some random thoughts on them—hence the title of this post.

-Lost fans, I’d advise not holding your breath expecting your dearly departed show to be honored just because it was the last season or for its overall accomplishments. Fact of the matter is shows with such a heavy sci-fi/mysticism slant don’t tend to clean up at the Emmys in the Outstanding Drama category unless it’s a weak field, and it’s not a weak field. Breaking Bad, Dexter and Mad Men are still at the top of their game and while I dug a lot of what Lost has to offer in its final run, I don’t think this was their best season, so they’ll have to make do with the statue they got way back in 2005. I hope they get a nice highlight package, though!

-To continue on that line of thinking for a moment, sorry Sean T. Collins, but I don’t see Matthew Fox winning Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama; I think he acted his heart out and I certainly wouldn’t be upset if he did pull it out, but much like I said above, that’s some stiff competition with Jon Hamm, Bryan Cranston, Hugh Laurie and Michael C. Hall.

-And to finish the thought, I do hope and believe Terry O’Quinn will be honored for his phenomenal Lost work this season as Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama. O’Quinn’s 180 turn from the traditional Locke to uber villain Smokey was just remarkable and displayed a range few actors could pull off so masterfully. I would say O’Quinn not being considered a Lead Actor is a bit of a crock, but at the same time, he’s got a way better shot against the likes of Martin Short and company, so I hope Lost’s “ride off into the sunset” moment comes in this category and a Locke-esque acceptance speech ties that final bow on the series.

-As an unabashed Glee fan, I still think it’s ridiculous that Glee got so many acting nominations. It’s a fun, well-produced and undeniably unique show of high quality, and there’s no doubt the cast is immensely talented, but I just don’t see how their performances, impressive though they are, can be held up against the likes of Alec Baldwin, Tina Fey and other people not on 30 Rock. It’s hard to articulate exactly why I feel this way without coming off like I’m slighting Lea Michelle or Matthew Morrison, but I just feel like playing so far over-the-top is entertaining and cool, but not award-worthy. Jane Lynch surely deserves her kudos as she has created a character, but the others are really just playing archetypes and singing incredibly well from my standpoint. In a perfect world there would be another category to recognize the merits of a show like Glee.

-I thought Steve Carrell’s Michael Scott was easily the most irritating and loathsome character on television this past year, and not in an impressive way, but in a “I want to turn off the TV” kind of way. His nomination for Outstanding Lead Actor to me is just the Academy sleepwalking and not having the guts to scratch him off the list after a bad year. At least they didn’t give Jeremy Piven another nomination. Carrell leaving The Office is going to be the best thing for both him and that show.

-Tina Fey was as great as ever on 30 Rock this year, but I think it would be really cool to see Amy Poehler grab that Lead Actress in a Comedy torch from her pal. Parks and Recreation just took such a quantum leap this year and I’m bummed it’s not up for Outstanding Comedy, but seeing Poehler get the win would be a nice consolation prize.

-I feel like I’m definitely at a handicap as far as picking winners by having never seen an episode of Modern Family.

-Finally: It’s long past time for Neil Patrick Harris to take this one home; America, let’s make it happen.

5 Random Wonder Woman Pictures

So hey, everyone and their sister-in-law (or at least MY sister-in-law, who's a Wonder Woman nut) already heard about Wonder Woman getting a new costume and origin. For the basic facts of the change, you can check out my interview with writer J. Michael Straczynski, and for a great reaction round up check out Robot 6.

I actually didn't think I had much to say about Jim Lee's design or the story surrounding it beyond "it looks all right I guess for something that won't probably last more than two years" and "JMS defines hit or miss for me, so we'll see," but after seeing all the blog reactions and people Tweet-a-booking about it and whatnot, I figured I'd share some random Wonder Woman pics that have crept across my browser.

1. OK, despite what I said about not having any real problems with the new design, it really doesn't hold a candle to the Jamie McKelvie one Shaun Manning reminded me existed this morning:


Seriously, I would buy him drawing that character in that book in a heartbeat. I've never understood why more comic artists don't tap actual fashion sense when designing characters and costume choices. Remember back in the day when Ian Churchill did Cable and everything Nate wore was straight out of classy British fashion mags? That was rad.

2. Heidi MacDonald's post of Wonder Woman covers throughout the years covered a lot of ground including the recent run of cheesecake-tastic images by Adam Hughes, but how she could have missed Hughes' WW masterpiece is beyond me:


I was actually an intern at DC when this cover came in, and if I recall correctly, Hughes created the piece by drawing the old school H.G. Peter homage and then stuffing that art under his recliner cushion to be sat on for a few weeks until it was worn enough to look time-damaged and then he slotted the modern Diana in.

3. I haven't read Wonder Woman #600, the issue where the new costume debuts, just yet so maybe I'm off base here, but when I saw this preview page on DC's The Source blog featuring WW and a roundup of DC superheroines...


...I thought to myself, "Damn, is that really what a lineup of the company's best and brightest female superheroes looks like?" And then I realized that no, it isn't. I'm not sure why Gail Simone didn't include, say, Catwoman, Black Canary, Huntress, Power Girl, Fire, Ice, etc. in the story. There might be an actual reason for it once I read the whole damn thing. But as it is, a bunch of the Teen Titans and Birds of Prey supporting characters really isn't packing quite the Oompf it should for me, you know?

4. Is there ever a reason NOT to link to Kate Beaton's Wonder Woman?


I think not. Also: you should really read the full strip.

5. Finally, after reading this post, MY best guess as to why DC has changed the costume is to cast Helen Mirren in a Wonder Woman movie:


Think about it: she's been around since the 1940s, and she's got great cans.

The Son of Satan gets around

Y'know, I hardly think this is a revelation or anything, but I haven't seen it commented on anywhere, it's fairly interesting and when you it out loud/write it out it sounds kind of insane: Daimon Hellstrom, aka Marvel's Son of Satan has been appearing fairly regularly five pretty high profile comic books over the last few months--and a more diverse group of titles you are unlikely to find...

-In New Avengers he was a red herring for the new Sorcerer Supreme and battled the Hood and Dormammu with the likes of Spider-Man and Captain America.

-In Marvel Zombies 4 he was done up in his full cape and pentagram regalia as a member of the Midnight Sons helping to fend off the zombie menace.

-In Marvel Divas he attempted to tempt his ex-wife, Hellcat, into an illicit reunion by offering to cure Firestar of her cancer.

-In Ghost Riders: Heaven's on Fire he's currently bald, pierced and aiding Johnny Blaze and Danny Ketch against Zadkiel and the Anti-Christ.

-And finally, he just showed up in Doctor Voodoo: Avenger of the Supernatural to apparently stab Jericho Drumm in the back and deliver him to his daddy down below.

This may seem like a random string of facts just kinda strung together (and it is), but think about it: Son of Satan is the new Wolverine! Actually, even Wolverine didn't appear in a flagship book like New Avengers, an off-the-beaten-path horror series like Marvel Zombies 4 and friggin' Marvel Divas in the span of like four months!

Guys, that is nuts! Daimon Hellstrom is blowing up!

Honestly, I pretty much dig Son of Satan, so I'm not writing all this as a mocking or derogatory statement. He's one of those characters who I have never really read any of his solo adventures, but am familiar enough with his deal and taken enough with his various visuals that I've always had an interest in getting to know more about him, it's just never happened (there are many characters I feel this way about, and I actually hope to craft a longer entry about them in the near future). Gary Friedrich was onto something pretty wacky when he thought it would be a neat idea for the son of the devil to become a super hero mainly because it would piss off his old man; that's pretty rad and unique motivation on one hand, and on the other, totally relatable. And you gotta love that most of his costumes (when he's not just dressing like a goth) have some sort of corny devil horn motif and tridents everywhere.

Anyways, while I'm all for Son of Satan getting some exposure, it just seems nuts--in a wonderful way--to me that after decades of the guy being a C-list occasional guest star on the fringe of the Marvel Universe aside from that Hellstorm: Prince of Lies series that Warren Ellis wrote back in the 90's (and which confused everybody even further as to Daimon's tricky last name), suddenly and practically simultaneously Brian Michael Bendis, Fred Van Lente, Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, Jason Aaron and Rick Remender all thought it would be a good time for this dude to make his comeback. It's that kind of brilliant comic book phenomenon you love to see where after years of obscurity a character can just be everywhere overnight.

It also continues the kinda cool to me trend of the last five or six years where the lost Marvel creations of the 70's who were always forgotten between the stalwarts of the Silver Age and the new hotness from the 80's and 90's have found new shelf life through a generation of writers who grew up reading them. There was really this entire wave of really neat characters with great looks who debuted in books like Marvel Premiere or Marvel Spotlight and then either went onto limited success or settled into obscurity who are now tearing up the charts. Son of Satan may well be the latest example (and Deathlok could soon join him), but this is a club that also includes Luke Cage, Iron Fist, Ms. Marvel, the original Spider-Woman, Moon Knight, Nova, Adam Warlock and more.

It's also refreshing proof that no matter how many times you think the comics industry is eating its own tail as far as using the same characters time and time again, somebody is going to come along and either create something new or remember a character that hasn't been seen in years and set out to show why they made an impression on them to begin with.

The "downside" of "making it" in comics

I should warn and caution that what I'm going to semi-complain about here is likely to get an eyeroll from many of you, and not an undeserved one at that.

So I'm in Mystic, Connecticut for the weekend staying at Megan's parents' lovely home. As an added bonus, Mystic is only a stone's throw away from New London, where I went to college. I actually took the train here last night and thus got a nice whiff of nostalgia as I stepped out of the station and briefly glimpsed some of my old haunts. Specifically, I spotted my college comic book store, Sarge's Comics, and made a mental note that I had not been there in a couple years now.

Lo and behold, Megan and her mom took a trip to the site of our upcoming wedding today, leaving me alone at their house (her dad mysteriously disappeared) and looking for stuff to do. I figured why not borrow Megan's car and take the 10 minute trip down I-95 to Sarge's.

I once again rode the nostalgia wave into New London and nearly OD'ed on it once I stepped foot within Sarge's, which despite having shuffled some sections around and hired some new people out front still had that old familiarity of the place I redsicovered my love for comics in (and remains for my money the biggest, best, most extensive comic shop I've ever seen).

20 minutes of browsing later, I walked out empty-handed. And I gott be honest, folks: that bummed me out a little.

During those 20 minutes, I saw a lot of comics, trades and toys I thought about buying, but I didn't. To be fair, part of that was due to what I like to think is my growing maturity in a rough economy where I'm doing my best to limit my purchases, but a bigger part was there was not a single item I saw where I couldn't justify not getting it with "I can get this for free" or "I can borrow this from one of my comics-inclined friends."

Don't get me wrong, I still spend a lot of money on new comics each week (particularly for somebody who has that aforementioned access to free goods), but I've been noticing more and more as I hit up conventions and shops I don't get that frenzy for back issues or holy grails anymore.

Certainly this isn't really a bad situation to be in by any stretch of the imagination; even more than the fact that I can get comics by the busload for free by virtue of my career choice and good fortune, I dig that the amount of people I hang out with who actually have robust collections I can pilfer has increased to this point as it means I not only have access to that material, but friends with whom to discuss it.

(As an aside, I just remembered I should also mention that a vast chunk of stuff I didn't buy today consisted of trades I got to read while I was at Wizard, which is a fairly significant x-factor I didn't really figure into this rant)

Still, for the busload of stuff on the plus side, I definitely do miss that feeling of "Holy shit, there is sooooo much stuff here" accompanied by the knowledge I'd be unearthing some hidden gem and bringing it back to my dorm room (wow, that sounded both a little dirty and a little sad) I used to get when I walked into Sarge's. I gotta say I do admire Rickey in that if you read any of his con reports, you know that he still manages to find about eight billion cool little things to buy every time he goes to a show.

The moral of the story is this: of the countless awesome reasons you could have for getting into comics professionally, getting free stuff shouldn't be one of them.*

*I'm kidding; of course it should be.