Father is with a pod of whales and Mother just came from space: Xmas time is here

I went to the library a day or so ago, and found a few books (and DVD’s, I now have anquishing films about coal miner strikes and conditions from China, Poland, Canada and Japan - ALL of the DVD's on Coal mines have won awards – I didn’t even know Japan HAD coal mines?). My cheeks are not rosy from good cheer, but that is a warning light: “This head may explode, please stand back!” – I wish, it is more like I slump over and get wheeled away. But if I connect the overheating to a bomb connected to my neck...then I would get that cool warning...and a headless torso. I overheat twice a day at least.

Since then I have been busy...yeah, doing good works, reading manga, and er..um, performing miracles plus getting really depressed from these DVD's about using coal for electricity (go solar, go turbines!). Also I'm recovering. Turns out, wheeling down, two hours sorting stuff, hauling it all home, then sorting it and some other stuff, cleaning the house, and doing and the photo taking and I can’t remember but more stuff and it all went a bit 'ug' for two days after that.

I hope your Xmas preparations go well. I am practicing how seductively I can get naked. Linda says we are going out to someone’s house but I’m practicing anyway, my chances of getting some are limited so I hope Linda finds the extremely SLOW tease of stripping (like five minutes or more) to be highly erotic. Go go Gadget Neuropathy! (oh, now that I think about it, did Inspector Gadget have an assistance dog?)

My family is enjoying the Xmas meeting in their family home in Buenos Aries, where my father gets his yearly stipend as a ex-KGB hit man, and a CIA double agent. Too bad I can't attend.

I could say that I don’t know where my parents are, and I will all alone, which makea this a traditional Xmas dinner and pathetic. See, I won't say that, because while this COULD be sad and pathetic, I have decided to be the rather strange child in the corner who turns adversity upside-down by claiming impossible things about my parents (Mine arrived back from the International Space Station just in time to do exercises for the Red Planet mission in the Desert) as they can’t REALLY be disproved, right? I mean they aren’t here, so that’s how I know they are studying the seasonal migration patterns of humpbacks using a submarine. My brother is the helmsman. I know deep down in my heart (near the slushy stuff) if they could convince a pod of the whales to come this way, we could all be together, but I realize that my sacrifice is really humanities' gain. Besides, after that they will have to infiltrate China to make an assessment of emerging markets (after the cold war ended, the need for national spies decreased so now my parents are corporate spies for Proctor and Gamble).

So I will be listening to whale song tapes (see, they sent me those, that’s how I know they are following the whales). And if I listen just hard enough, I can hear them through the hull of the sub, just like the letter they write:

Dad (reading a book): “mmmm..cheese.
Mom: “Yes, I got it at Trader Joe’s, the American’s have such inexpensive cheese. Plus the banana’s were only 19 cents a lb.”
Dad (Knee Deep in Banana’s): “mmmmm.”
Mom: “I’m glad you liked them, I got a couple of deep freezers and marine fitted them for only a couple tens of thousands of dollars and now the 80 lbs of banana’s I go will stay ripe. Think of the savings! It is over $20!”
Dad (turns page in book): “mmmmm”

Ahhh, our Canadian tradition, as individuals write letters about our savings per item or meal to relatives back home. I cannot imagine why the Europeans have not several men and women of letters, whose journals are must read on the Oxford syllabus? I, for example, can use my grandparents journals to trace the savings on early bird buffets back for over 20 years, along with whether the Lawrence Welk show was good that week or not. I. on the other hand. write in my journal the cost of toilets as I travel around the world (the closer you get to Ephesus, Turkey, the more it gets, until it is about $5 or so). Unlike Linda (a.k.a. the Camel), this is critical information: particularly the countries which use black lighting in the loo so your pee glows in the dark!

So..yeah...very busy.