“A Breath of Mayhem”: the new Daughters of Anarchy (and tea…and pocky)

I sit here eating pocky.Actually, I'm not as I have run out of both berry pock and dark chocolate pocky (men’s pocky – bah, remind me to have that changed my town – “Pantyliner”) So have to fix the pocky issue. Oh, I am selling the last 64 lots of manga on Ebay (condition NEW to Like NEW books) by Sunday, which will fix the pocky problem, but not enough for the new Indy hand control motorcycle.

Motorcycle?

Oh yeah, we doubled my pain killers. And it seems to work cause the ‘Crazy Eyes’ Elizabeth Fucking McClung is back!

I decided after watching a trailer for the TV show ‘Son’s of Anarchy’ that a) I need to start a really cool motorcycle gang and b) definitely NEED my own town (“Some people just find they aren’t welcome here” – from the trailer). Okay, I know ‘Pantyliner’ isn’t the best town name, but it scares most men, and indicates things are going to be down and dirty: yeah a little bloody! I will probably change it once I find a better name (“Welcome to Carnivore”, “Second to last Hope”). So a NEW ride and of course I need the guns,because I'll have to shoot the road signs (I don’t know WHY people shoot road signs exactly, but I don’t make up the rules, as a road rebel, I gotta shoot up road signs) and ride with my bats and styling cows’ skull on the front of my bike!

I went boxing yesterday and did 80 push ups and 100 sit ups, 40 of them vertical (my legs up in the chair, my body on the ground, face to come up to knees and back down). Then I did heavy bag. I got Linda to time my 1 minute ‘mad minute’ rounds. After a few warm ups, I timed 197 punches in 60 seconds (yeah the last 3 bug me a bit). Then as I kept doing the rounds, I felt myself slowing down. I asked Linda to time me again. “141” I counted when she went ‘Stop….....oh wait, that was only 50 seconds, you have 10 more.” Oh, too late. I was kickin it. Then Linda said, “We better go home a bit early.” Everyone was still hitting the bags, all 24 boxers. And that’s when I passed out. When I came to….we were in an empty room. That was a very twilight zone trick.

I was getting in shape for my days of Mayhem and loan sharking (I'll carry a calulator for the hard stuff). Sort of like this cheerful video from Gunslinger Girls.
So, I read The Good Witch of the West, where it starts with girl and boy friend (Firiel and Rune) and Firiel goes to ball, gets mocked and then her ‘heirloom’ from her dead mother shows her to be a contender from the throne. Pretty standard girls fru-fru story right? Well, not exactly as she gets thrown in the deep end, saves Rune (post torture) and ends up going to a Girl’s Academy for Nobles which is full of assassins and has both ballet and fencing classes (you know, for deportment and a good backhand slash to the throat). I think because women are in power they are called ‘witches’ – at the academy there is a very good class on ‘seduction techniques’ in the book. There is some ‘wink wink’ to girls liking yaoi (which naive Firiel seems to miss) along with LOTS of girl/girl yuri including some kissing with the fencing instructor (WITH Firiel….which she seems a bit clueless about). Plus Rune is trying to convince her that she may treat him like a harmless brother but he isn’t (he grabs her breast, makes out with her and tells he has MORE experience…..so she better watch out!). Firiel instead of a shriek is thinking, “More experience? But we grew up together, where did he get MORE experience?” and then remembers the NEW yaoi story by the daughter of the noble she is staying with ‘The Red Haired Knight and the Black Haired lad” and goes, “Ohhhh! OH! No, Rune, sometimes you should really say “no.”

So, lots of fun at the academy (she gets thrown out - So on to court!). And what is a 'wild girl' without lots of cross dressing, Rune as Runette, and Firiel as a boy – the luggage for these two must be huge! It is fun (oh, and I am selling the manga series in ebay by Sunday – but if you get the books, I will send you the anime series on Disc – it is similar but different – so let me know!).

Anyway, somehow Yuri action (like the sword instructor made Firiel’s ‘Knight’), gender bending, intrigue, saving the kingdom, and of course a dash of yaoi is like sherbet for me, it just cleanses the pallet. I awoke this morning…er afternoon and thought, “Why Elizabeth, why don’t we try to start the apocalypse today!”
That’s me in a good mood. Gosh, I've missed the "What are we going to do today Elizabeth?" Why try to destroy the world, of course! days, haven't you?

I also thought about becoming a ‘Grim Reaper’, so I could lurk outside of late night clubs in my wheelchair with a scythe going, “Yeah, drink AND drive, that sounds like a smart idea to ME!” Then laugh in low creepy tone.

Or convincing everyone to wear ‘fox spirit’ masks on full moons and start taking school in the middle of the night!Why not? Linda told me that our dictator (Campbell) for BC stepped down two days ago (wow, fired the government, in debt, nothing working, the solution – leave it for the next poor shmuck!), so this is Anarchy town now (with still some very good high teas!).

But then, after reading about a nation of women in charge, and seeing that trailer, I am totally into creating a town of biker gals, or gals who like to fight, or scrap and of course drink tea and chocolate, maybe a bit of bread baking before going out on a ‘Thunder Ride’ So quick, hop aboard and lets go find this town!Though the idea of an entire town having a period on schedule could be scary. I’m talking about those days right before if we happen to run out of chocolate or batteries for vibrators.

See, people think women aren’t scary, and it is that fact that makes us scary. We are 51-52% of the planet and we could PK, or ‘Team Kill’ anytime we feel like it. Just be thankful that we like gardening and knitting more than provoking. Because otherwise we would be THIS little Red Riding Hood (I have those boots, but I love the rose imprint thigh highs).She, she punked those wolves and owns them. And what is she taking to grandma? Hard liquor and hand grenades (click on the picture to see for yourself) – yeah, pink lolita with guns to match (I do like the goth cross on her .44 holster, gotta find one of those for me). Yeah, Oh dear..."I'm just a girl!"
So, if you don’t want to hear of my Breathe of Mayhem spreading far and wide, um, send pocky. Yeah, but keep me on these painkillers, they rock!

I’m outta here, I’ve got a scythe and I’m off to do some loan sharking and warn people against the perils of jaywalking.

I am fevered and do the R word. Plus Intersex: 3 million USA women gagged by society, by us.

I have been researching this blog post for hours, and now my fever is back (hence a slight delay).

But it is a really interesting post about the lie of ‘Normal.’ Diversity is ‘Normal’: did you know that over 3 MILLION women in US and Canada have one of the four of the most common intersex conditions. 1) Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome – an XY female who does not have a uterus and because they cannot absorb Androgen, they end up looking very, very beautiful. But neither Christianity, the ‘science’ of the west, or feminism, has created or defended a place for an XY female.
2) MRKH – a female grows up and does not have menstruation, because the Uterus is small, misshappen or absent. The male gynocologists are more obsessed however with the absence of a vagina (no vagina, no heterosexual sex, whether there is female pleasure or not, no ‘Normal’, so pressure to dilate or create a vagina is pushed on the teens/females in early 20’s who are confused and scared with ‘What is wrong with me’ – the solution, ‘You need heterosexual sex’). Not so great unless you like lots of pain and dialation. And it ignores bisexual lesbians and asexual women. Asexual women, those who desire no sex, are over 1% of the population, but are "oppressed by a consensus that they are nonexistent," and left behind by both the sexual revolution and feminist movement. (a true statement from an academic paper now 40 years old – what has been done in two generations to acknowledge and give rights and protection to them?)

3) congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH), the adrenal gland makes extra androgen which results in facial hair, body development, hair loss and other androgen related conditions. In some ethnic communities this is more common than 1 in 300 births

4) Turners Syndrome: is a disorder caused by the loss of genetic material from one of the sex chromosomes (an X) – often women literally have just one chromosome, an X. So things like puberty may never happen without intervention. Talk about traumatic teenage years. Or the chromosome has so many errors that estrogen needs supplementation: menstruation and fertility are both almost always absent.

A couple million women and yet no one wants to talk about it. In the Olympics, 1 in 400 athletes failed the ‘chromosome’ sex test, and yet all were proven to be female. ALL. Which is why the IOC dropped it. The Athletics and other organizations did not. So, due to the ‘embarressment’, the ‘other’, the ‘they don’t look right’, the not willing to talk about it, over 2% of the women in North America will never be able to compete at the Olympics (coming next month).

Just one of these conditions is more common than Lupus, and yet we never talk about it, never hear about it, even though we know in our life, as we pass by people in the stores, the woman serving our latte, many, many women with intersex conditions. But the first thing the gynecologist tells them: “Keep this a secret”

Being human is something to be ashamed about.

That’s the teaser for tomorrow’s blog. Also, guess which intersex condition I am currently getting tested for! Get it right and win…..this NEW CAR! (I’m sorry, I was channelling Bob Barker and the Price is Right). No, um, how about, a nice postcard? My medical book on treating various military burns including flame-throwers and napalm?

Oh, the world is spinning again. I am feverish sick.

I have been feverish because my body is too weak that multiple systems are not able to function correctly. This has gone on for days. I finally decided that one hour every two days of non-fever was not actually ‘reserves’. So I am to bed, as I was all yesterday. Yes, you heard it. The mighty has FALLEN!: E.F.M. is at rest (the short term, not the ‘we put you in an incinerator’ kind). See, I do know the meaning of the word ‘rest’. I just happen to not learn quickly. But if I win the post and lose Beth by dying, that is overall a loss. So I rest.

At a tribute to my hallucinations, the rest of the blog will be illustrated as “Beth and Linda, the Yaoi version.”

First Linda had to come rescue me from where I was flushed and fevered.
(Is it wrong that I WANT to have that ass? I know it is a guy/uke but what a delectable ass, particularly if Linda found it so, I could transfer and wheel around naked all the time! Yum!)

So last night, I had a fever so high I was doing a ‘Taxi/Untouchables’ to my small cat plushie called ‘pounce.’ “You looking at ME!” I was shouting at 1:00 a.m. from my pillow, “You looking at ME! You land on me, you put one of us in the hospital, we put one of you in the morgue!” (I had a really great Scottish accent too). Linda turned Pounce’s head so she wasn’t looking down at me and was able to calm me down and get me to sleep.
Asleep until 4 a.m. when I woke up and started talking to my pillow and the ice pack under it. One ice pack I call “Mr. Four.”

“Bring back Mr. Four!” I asked Linda, “Mr. Four’s friend has a limp handshake, and lacks his firm resolve and fortitude!”

Poor Linda.

Today, I have been sustaining myself on Pocky, and now it is off to bed. Linda picked me up the dark pocky, the ‘Men’s Pocky’ – because in Japan (and here I guess) men are supposed to like bitter things and women are supposed to like sweet. I like Chocolate. Mmmmmm. However, for guy who start eating pocky (which is flavor on a stick, like chocolate and mixed almonds dipped – think a dipped cone but no ice cream to melt), beware a slight side effect: the ‘Pocky Experience.’ For those young faced or particularly smooth skinned men, whose pocky eating is interpreted as the ultimate ‘come hither’ seduction by the Seme’s out there, you may be losing your pocky….but gaining a new….um….friend. Just a warning.

Off to bed.

My full blog post including PCOS, FSD, RSD and more of the diversity of being female is tomorrow. That is a diversity not under the oppression of ‘Normal,’ Because who DOES fit those images or expectations thrown at you every hour by society regarding being perky but non-confrontational, having the right body shape, the ‘can do everything, work, have a perfect relationship and host a dinner for 14!’ expections until you feel like an ‘other’, and ‘outsider’ and if in any way genetically different, a ‘freak.’

I hate that word. To know that simply by being born with a condition of genetic diversity, your only option a few generations ago was a sideshow…..not a good headspace.