Sonntag, 31. Oktober 2010

Ben's Halloween as Tony Stark

I've already seen some pics of Rickey and Kevin's Halloween costumes for this year, both of which were excellent, and if the past is any indication Kiel will top us all, so hopefully all of them will post what they got up to, but I'll start and discuss my adventures as none other than Marvel's own...

...Tony Stark, aka Iron Man!

I fully admit that I stole this idea from roughly two dozen cosplayers I've seen at various conventions over the past two-three years; I figured it would be do-able, but also enough of a challenge that if I did it right, it would look appropriately cool.

The main advantage those dudes had over me was generally natural black hair, so dying that was the first order of business.

Also, as you can see, I snagged some neat accesories, namely the Repulsor Blaster and the Arc Chest Light. I always intended to hit Wal-Mart the night before I needed the costume done and grab whatever was neat and affordable, and I lucked out with these. The Chest Light in particular was a steal as you can clip it on any shirt and I know myself and the gang at Marvel will have fun for months with both gadgets, as they're definitely headed to work with me.

The other thing I didn't have was a goatee, so I grew my stubble out a weak, shaved it like Mr. Downey Jr., then my lovely wife used some black face paint to make sure it didn't look like a 13-year-old boy trying to grow facial hair like usual. I knew from the start that a suit was clutch (tank top wasn't gonna do), so we threw all that together and voila:

Last night I hit my buddy Jordan's Halloween party and had a blast with some friends from college and new folks we've been meeting via him and his wife, Chloe. A very fun group that included another Tony Stark! His costume had a few less bells and whistles than mine, but he did come up with a homemade Arc Reactor glowing from under his shirt by using a glowstick, which I was a bit jealous of. The coolest take away for me me, though, was that there were two guys at one Halloween party dressed as Iron Man in his civilian identity, when only a few years ago most of the general public didn't even know the costumed version--that rocks.

Pictured here from left to right are my friends and I: Taylor as Hunter S. Thompson, Jordan as a Jersey Devil (a devil from the Jersey Shore; pretty clever), Dan as a character from The Town (and he was quite frustrated that I was about the only person who realized who he was) and me.

And then here's me as well as Megan as a Pisces.

Interestingly aside from "Cool costume!" the comments I got the most were "You look great with a goatee--have you thought of growing one for real?" and "You look like David Arquette." On the first, yeah, I've been trying for about a decade; on the second, great, what perfect timing.

Happy Halloween!

pinup pretties: halloween edition

happy halloween!

photo credits: pictures 1,2,3 : by gil [via]; 4 via; 5 via

design: dining room love

a dining room i could definitely see as my own:
- white, white, white [but somehow without being overwhelming]
- beautiful blue color of the chairs
- huuuuge mirror with incredible white molding frame -- i wouldn't necessarily want to watch myself eat, but this massive mirror just captures my heart
- huge window
- chandelier!!  i mean, really - are you surprised that i love this crystal & intricate chandelier?!

yeah, i love it~~

from decor pad [via

celeb style: blake lively & her [slightly] edgier side

my lovely blake took a fem & ruffly christian dior dress & toughed it up a bit by adding a cropped leather jacket.  my opinion?  LOVE

as a leg-conscious lady, i also love blake's addition of black tights -- it shows women everywhere that tights can be classy & fashionable.  [tights can also go incredibly, incredibly wrong, which is why i'm extra happy to see her show how they can look great!]

now, my fave blogger over at red carpet fashion awards [where i also obtained the pic] wasn't a fan of this look, so i understand it may be not be well-received by all.  either way, i'm on the "love it" side of the debate.

pretty picture: living with nature

welcome to the world of glamorous women, beautiful gowns, & breathtaking woods - a.k.a. the world as photographer rus anson imagines it.

my absolute fave photo [& gown!!]
i wish i knew who designed this beautiful & romantic red number...& that i could ever afford it...& that i had an occasion to wear it.... lots of wishes today!

props to amanda of lace & tea for introducing me to these photos.
see her post here.

Samstag, 30. Oktober 2010

Have a fun Trans-eve!: Halloween's invitation to be transgender in cross play, gender bending, cross dressing and more

Welcome to the night and weekend where trans is IN, trans-eve, or Halloween,the time when gender bending doesn’t get you beaten up but picked up or winning awards. It is the night for feminine loving men to go Rococo!
Trans, the T in LGBTQI, is short for transgender and covers an umbrella from the effeminate and feminine male, and Drag Queens, like the ones who rioted at Stonewall, getting gay, lesbians, bisexual AND T rights out in the open. But also includes the largest group which are heterosexual males who like to cross dress, as well as variance in gender roles, gender play, gender identity and gender perception preference. Presentation, or gender identity has nothing to do with sexual orientation, which is often misunderstood, as many famous female early cross dressers were as heterosexual as the majority of men (most married), like Dr. Mary Edward’s Walker (who won the Congressional Medal of Honor as a Doctor in the Civil War, 1868) to Katherine Helpburn (the heartthrob of so many baby-dykes)and now, the Butch Clothing Company has launched this year, selling to women who want to wear men’s clothes. Gender presentation, or even identity has nothing to do with orientation (gender is how you see or want others to see you: male, female, or a mix, while orientation is who you are attracted to sexually).

Transgender acts as an umbrella term for those whose gender identity or gender presentation for periods of time or completely do not mesh with the assigned birth gender. It has later evolved to include those who do not conform to gender norms. The term was created by Charles Prince who created Tri-ess, a group for cross-dressers as different than the medical term ‘transsexual’ (those whose assigned birth gender or body does not match their gender identity and take steps so that the two match, which can include medical such as hormone treatment). Charles Prince created the term because cross dressers and drag queens were being mistaken for (medical term) transsexuals and said, I “know the difference between sex and gender and have simply elected to change the latter and not the former” (changing the gender not the sex – it is if you ask a Drag Queen backstage if they are male or female, they will say male, even if they spend 75% of their time dressed and perceived as female). The umbrella though includes those who identify as trans, which ranges from cross dressers, genderqueer, Drag queen and kings, boi’s, transvestites, those who live cross gender and androgynous (and, of course, transsexuals, and those whose gender identity is not aligned to their birth assigned gender)

For Halloween, this is in North America, almost a ‘free zone’ for gender variation expression and behavior, particularly cross play and genderplay, where through clothing, appearance and/or behavior you are not your identified (for example, your birth) gender. For example, when we went to Japan we went to a ‘Butler Café’ where the Butlers were actually women doing gender play. But as two lesbians, we saw ‘Butch’ and so didn’t understand how in a society where even the food is gender designated (dark chocolate pocky is ‘mens’ while sweet and strawberry is ‘female’ – men drink: coffee, while women drink: milk tea), that this was a living stage of gender play. So the goth lolita’s, ultra femme, come into this café (which is female patrons only), where they are greeted, fawned over and have some male patronizing over what they have bought or are wearing, and how pretty they are by the gender playing Butlers. The Bulters, though biologically female, when on the job and website are socially male, and talk as men (while for us, we were thinking, ‘Butch women’ and missed the fun entirely). Thus the café is all hands covering the mouth and shy flirtation to the favorite Butler who develops a flirtatious fantasy gender play with a frequent patron.

Halloween offers a lot of fun opportunities this time and type of play, as regular restrictions don’t apply, and if all the girls want to wear those white wedding dresses, then a few of the boys might want to be ‘brides’ for a night as well. Of course, if you are going to pick up your girlfriend and plan on doing some gender play, and maybe later some gender play roleplay it is best to let her know BEFORE you show up in the tuxedo.
There is also, ironic gender play, where one dresses very BADLY as a sailor scout for example. However, I can say that since you have the chance of fantasy and gender play, might as well go for ‘HOT!’ and girls in traditional male uniforms tend to be pretty hot. A warning: if you are just trying this out first time you can pick the wrong outfit BIG TIME, this is what females learn between 13 and 15, that though you LOVE as an outfit and it looks amazing: it might not look amazing on YOU. This is why you have those pictures of you in outfits that just aren’t your body shape. Avoid that and take a friend who has some fashion sense and say, "No, it's great, but it's not YOU"!

The other advantage of Halloween is that it is accepting, and femme boys can be femmes, and butch women can be gender boi’s. Linda is what we call a ‘lapsed femme’ in that she isn’t exactly ‘butch’ but rather just a REALLY lazy femme who gave up on jewelry (“too much hassle”), never learned make-up (“Why do I always have to wait while you put that…..STUFF on?”), and ends up buying what is comfortable even if it is in the men’s section (hint: if in a discount shoe store, your size is out and you rush to the men’s shoes to see how they look, you might be heading into ‘lapsed femme territory). Ironically she went as a ‘Butch’ one year and was told she was unconvincing, while as a ‘lapsed femme’ she is often assumed to be Butch. But as Linda would say, “So…it’s comfortable.” (yeah, and some of us are more comfortable femme, as I often have ‘I will dress, wear earrings and blow dry my hair into a style even if I don’t go out’ one of the standards of self will and self pride within a chronic illness). I'm not sure 'lapsed femme' counts as transgender, but it sure is easy to make a costume: Linda, "I'll wear this guy's sweatshirt and my dockers"

Me: "What is your costume exactly?"

Linda: "Relaxed."

For those who want to give cross dressing, gender bending or genderplay a try this year, usually it is males wanting to dress as females so beyond the ‘shave, shave, shave – like legs! PLEASE!’, I recommend using this Kay Cosmetics guide to going from a 2 day beard to a stunning beauty: highly recommended as the directions are accompanied by 12 pictures showing the exact change from Rob to Allison. Or if you want to try female impersonation/drag, use some of ehow’s tips. Or you will end up with this kind of difference (cute guy makes cute girl in gown with bunny ears while school girl is out of proportion, no wig, no make up, and well, skary).We have all seen scary cross dressing on Halloween, and why? Because guys don’t want to admit a little gender play can be fun? Newsbreak: the secret is out, okay? 20-30% of men acknowledge they cross dressing regularly for pleasure (singer G-Dragon announced he does – read the comments, which are very interesting), and only 45% have said they have never done it (women 20% for pleasure or other reasons, but then, as pointed out, gender bending for women is a lot more blurry). So put the embarrassment on hold for a night and if you are going out girl, go for it!

I mean, sometimes it is all about the attitude. Like her, it is sort of obvious about the woman but wow, got the male body set, use of space and sexy man vibe going on. But for those who want a bit more clothes on, ehow has a basic guide for gals who want to be guys for the night (think boxers, pressed breasts). And sometimes it is about the body and gait. How you walk tells the world your gender (men tend to take up more room and don’t move aside while women take up less room and move aside for males). In walking your hips, biology (the ‘package’) and social influences mix, so if you are cross dressing as female and guys are bumping into you, it means they ‘read’ you as female – same with how far the arms are from the body. For a fun minute or two, click here at the Biomotion lab, where you can see the difference clearly in how the two genders walk and also how weight and size change your gait (it has arms, hips, knees feet and head – really fun to move the slider and see the changes we recognize on the street). Click on ‘lines’ if you want to see as a stick figure. For women, the arms don’t go full extension, and for guys they do, the same with smiles (smaller for female, full on for guys). This is why a girl who loves horror films, team sports, belches and can keep up at a ‘chug a lug’ beer contest is known as both ‘dream girl’ and ‘one of the guys.’ But then, you can always go as a GOTH girl, which lets you love horror films, sports, plus you get to carry a plushie as well as things like knives or small chainsaws (a Hello Kitty or Emily the Strange Chainsaw is best)

However it goes, have a great Trans-eve, Halloween and maybe, if you want, you can send me pictures (I wanna see!). Be creative, because even if you always wanted to win a beauty pageant (though you are a guy, and this is your night to be Miss Billings, Montana). But your fashion friend says fru-fru dresses and speeches about wanting world peace aren’t for you, despair not, I bet you could still be a Zombie Beauty Queen!
Have Fun, as this short video (2.5 minutes), The Sweetest Thing, to celebrate love, life and being who you are is about. Takumi, the younger brother of Mai (the heroine of Mai Hime anime) has a bad heart and needs a risky operation but isn’t interested in burdening his sister. He’s a feminine guy who likes his pink apron and cooking dinners, cakes and packing cute lunches. Akira is his roommate and has a few secrets, the first is that he is a Ninja (one who saves Takumi, and Takumi is gushing about this ‘cool ninja’ to his roommate). The other secret Akira has is that he is a transmale which has caused him to hope for love but not expect it. When his secret is found out, he flips, and realizes that all this time, getting to know Takumi (who makes him cute lunches) he has fallen in love. In Japan, the ending of the name (-chan for females and –kun for boys) lets you know how individuals are seen by each other. For Takumi, it is always Akira-kun (boy), for whom he decides to go ahead with the surgery, ‘because you gave me a reason to live’. These are teens having stutters, the anxiety, and the excitement of just being around each other of a first relationship.

reblog: where would kate spade live?

thank you, thank you to a diary of lovely for highlighting kate spade's london store, aka "what kate spade's house would look like."

my fave bits?

this sweet pillow:
the incredibly eclectic gallery wall.
especially her trademark pink ampersand artwork!

thank you for being so fabulous, kate spade, my dear name twin!

design: dreamy & woodsy bedroom

there is so much i love about this romantic cabin bedroom - the wood panel ceiling that matches the wood panel walls, the many windows, the wood vase... oh, & the dreamiest woodsy bed ever!

i'm fairly certain it's impossible not to love this bed.  it is truly effortlessly romantic.  & one of the most incredible canopies i've ever seen.

i have no idea where this bedroom is, but i really hope it is: a) nearby; and b) a bed & breakfast i can go visit.


i want: object frames

lots of love for these simple & fab frames.
i would put daisies in the vase, my beloved bible on the mini-shelf, and my fave cream scarf [all the way from turkey, a present from my bestie/other half]

although incredibly out of my [strict] bujay, the amazing frames can be purchased here.
thank you to charlotte of lottie loves for showing me these.

pretty pictures: most incredible gowns

by zuhair murad f/w 2010-2011:

lovely model + intricately incredible & feminine dresses + paris background =  

 & now for my fave, the ultra fem, ultra extravagant, ultra glamorous pièce de résistance....

love the hi-low skirt, love the feathery frills, love the shoes, love the model's pose, love the corset bodice.
did i mention that i love this image/gown?!

thank you for the inspiration  & beauty, mr. murad.
& thank you for showing me this, sara klassen.
oh, & thank you for the images, mario sierra.

lots of thanks today :)

Freitag, 29. Oktober 2010

quotation: statement vs. story

clothes make a statement.
costumes tell a story.
                                                                                         -mason cooley 

whether you're making a statement or telling a story, 
                  have a fun & safe Halloween weekend!

Linko! LXIII

* It's Halloween weekend, children! While we'll doubtlessly be doing our regular silly costumed adventures this weekend, but for those of y'all that fall closer to the horror hound end of the holiday spectrum, I've got two killer links to kick off this weekend with. First up, be sure to check out our boy Sean T. Collins' latest creepy comic collaboration with artist Isaac Moylan: "I Remember When The Monsters Started Coming For The Cars."

* And on the other side of the spectrum, read our pal o' pals Justin Aclin's latest short story from his "S.H.O.O.T. First" comic series: "The House That Ate Halloween" at Robot 6. While you're at it, you'll want to see the entire Robot 666 series of spooky posts from this week.

* With that friendly plugging for people I know out of the way, let me be the 8,000th person to tell you that you really should read Shannon K. Garrity's "Ten Things To Know About The Future Of Comics." It's not a piece I can agree with 100% (what is?) and trying to analyze it point by point is kind of useless as I doubt I have any harder evidence to back up my ideas on where certain parts of the market are going, but as a pot-stirrer and conversation starter, it doesn't get much better than that column.

* Speaking of which, the best response I've seen Garrity's piece spur is Douglas Wolk's "Ten Things To Fear About The Future Of Comics" – same general thoughts I had on the above link apply.

* Best non-opinion comics writing I read on the internet this week? This solid Hope Larson interview by Suzette Chan at Sequential Tart. Larson is a cartoonist who's very open about her creative ideas and ambitions, and the questions here about the sense of place in her work really open her up to expound on her goals.

* Speaking of cartoonist's adept at talking about their own work in a revealing way, this Chip Kidd interview with "Doonesbury" creator Garry Trudeau in Rolling Stone on the 40th anniversary of that venerable newspaper strip is pretty much can't miss (and, I should note, one of like 734 profiles of Trudeau that've hit this should really just put his name in Google News).

* I was looking for some free audio software this week and stubled upon a program called ComicBookLover that purports to be the perfect system for reading digital comics – and when they say "digital comics" I'm almost certain what they really mean is "comics you've downloaded illegally." Anyway, it was super interesting to me that this product exists. Has anyone ever heard of it being used?

Jimmy Giegerich covers Adventures into Weird Worlds 6

Original cover by Bill Everett; Marvel 1952. Jimmy Giegerich's website is here.

Donnerstag, 28. Oktober 2010

Thor Corps Reunion Tour

I cop up front to never having read a single comic they’ve appeared in—though I desperately want to—but I think from observation and what I’ve gleaned via the Internet alone that I’m not wrong in saying few concepts could be more definitively 90’s than the Thor Corps.

I’ve said before that I didn’t read much Thor back when I was a kid, but I was dimly aware of the Thor Corps via stuff like Wizard, Marvel Age and just passing the covers in the shop. It was a concept that both baffled and delighted me as so many comic book-related things did at the time. I could understand the idea that somebody else could wear Iron Man’s armor, fill in for Batman or even make a claim—or four claims—to the name of Superman, but even I knew Thor was different than that; he wasn’t a costume or even a name to be passed down, he was a mythological figure whose whole deal was that he was in fact Thor, the Norse god of thunder. There couldn’t be four guys who were Thor.

And yet there were.

Actually there was another Thor in the Marvel Universe even before that, but that’s a story for another day…

Anyways, they made for a cool visual, and examining each character on their own, it’s actually a neat mix:

-The original and legitimate Thor; son of Odin, prince of Asgard and all that jazz.

-Thunderstrike, the “Everyman Avenger,” in reality architect Eric Masterson who got fused with Thor for a time and was in fact subbing for him when the Corps originally formed; he eventually got his own identity and ultra-90’s costume, sleeveless leather jacket and ponytail included.

-Beta Ray Bill, freaking phenomenal horse alien who proved worthy of wielding Thor’s hammer back in the Walt Simonson days, got his own golden mace, Stormbringer, and has been “oath brother” to the big T ever since.

-Dargo Ktor—‘Nuff Said.

So from what I’ve read, the Thor Corps formed when the original Thor’s old nemesis Zarrko the Tomorrow Man—great name—tricked Dargo into fighting Masterson, then Bill stepped in and they decided to join forces as what could have been the greatest hair band since Poison, but instead turned out to be a pretty solid super hero team who had a crazy time travel adventure. Later on, after Masterson became Thunderstrike, the band got back together with the real Thor along for the ride this go-around and fought a dude named Demonstaff.

It honestly sounds tremendous and I’m begging for a trade of this stuff to coincide with Thor’s movie next year.

More than that, now that I know guys like Dan Slott and Evan Skolnick are hanging on my every word here, I’m gonna appeal to whoever’s game, be it current Thor writer Matt Fraction, Thor Corps creator and steward Tom DeFalco, or even that Christos Gage kid if there are no other options: Let’s bring back the Thor Corps, guys!

I will guarantee you that if doesn’t make Dargo Ktor the shocking fan favorite character of 2011, it won’t be from lack of trying.

(Thanks to the aforementioned Mr. DeFalco for not only giving me a topic to write about tonight, but creating an idea here I seriously think sounds rockin’ and could have legs given the chance)

reblog: celebrity halloween costumes

i sort of fell in love with this post over at fabsugar this morning ~ take a look & you probably will, too!  it highlights the top 20 celeb halloween costumes, everything from a peacock to a pink puff!

there are so many costumes i love, but my fave has to be christian siriano as cruella de vil:

need an idea for this sunday?  here are a some more picture galleries of celeb halloween costumes:
hollywood goes trick-or-treating
stars in halloween costumes ~ check out seal & heidi klum!
haunted hollywood! celebs in halloween costumes
celebs as other celebs for halloween
hollywood goes halloween ~ 120 pics!! & i may or may not have looked at all of them.... my vote for best is ellen degeneres -- just look:

hope you enjoy the inspiration!

Nick Pendleton covers Saga of Swamp Thing 6

Original cover by Tom Yeates; DC 1982. Nick Pendleton's website is here.

Aren't you proud?

I was asked today if I was ‘proud’ of what I do, the boxing, the outside wheeling?

“No.” I told them, “I’m not proud at all. How can I be proud of what others find distasteful, my continued existance?”

We are, disabled and Able Bodied, all types of bigots, and one of the most supported forms of bigotry is how we encourage each other to give in to our fear of illness, and altered human function and form. Drool, and averting the eyes is 'doing you a favor' - haha. Yes, because having everyone glace, look away and then talk about you, because your being alive makes them uncomfortable is helping me? No, helping them. It is no different than spotting who the odd one is in grade school, and somehow, they end up with no friends. They are stared at. They are, as you will well know if you were one, asked, "Why do you keep coming?", and the idea of invitation to a party, or even having anyone show up at one you host is laughable.

If your disease requires care, then no one will make conversation. I go outside, I go to the video store and it used to be that I had a lot of conversations, now no one wants to talk to me, because I talk slow and funny. Because look odd, bloated in strange places. Nothing that a devo would want to fantasize over. A friend saw a relative who had MS, and the person with MS had type 4, which is no remission, quick degeneration and in two years they were in a home with full time care, in their early 30's. No one at the gathering talked to them except immediate family. And probably the people who didn't felt good for NOT talking, rationalizing it as 'drawing attention' or 'making them feel bad'. Ah, because it is far better to KNOW you are the monster in the corner?

By the time we are adults we learn to stop being bigots in regards to race, or age, and many other human varieties. If a person avoids ever talking to a black person, it gets noticed, and they are a bigot. If a person won't work as an equal with a female, they are a bigot and it gets noticed. If they make comments about 'being with...own kind', they are a bigot and get noticed....unless they are talking about the visually openly degeneratively ill. Two years ago, the very friends who now nod and turn away from the person with MS being fed, cheered them on, invited them to dinner, made them part of their lives.

Is the person inside different? No. We learn that though we are racist, we struggle AGAINST it, in opening up conversation, in recognizing the person as equal. Why? Because as we watch and judge others, so society watches us. And right now, society does not WANT to see an openly and visibly degeneratively ill person as 'equal'.

Yet, is there a single extended family where a person will not have dementia, or incontinence, or problems eating, false teeth, a limitation of food, care from family and eventually care in a home? Not really. I am your future, for some, your near future, and that is horrific to you. I see it when people walk away if they can't understand my speech, or stop talking to me and just stare when I have problems talking, or how, the best way to clear a 100 foot circle is to have a seizure. Because any of this is rare? No, it is just socially sanctioned bigotry. And that attitude not only extends to the chronically ill and invisibly disabled but more so, the 'no no no, they are not one of US.' "No no, people with MS don't DIE in three or four years, that's NOT MS, you have to understand...."

Having a disease is in one way a single event and in another way, two events: the part where you pass enough, whether that is though use of devices like wheelchairs, to be socially acceptable in speech and ambitions. People who wheel the length of the State they live in for charity are 'inspirational', people who have their lungs suctioned out to breath are not.

People are proud of what I DID, but not what I DO. Though what I DO is the equivelant of digging a tunnel with only a plastic spoon.....every week. But this blog is my last beacon of communication with you and when it goes silent, so does my inbox. No one is 'proud' that I went a day and a half without having intestinal bleeding. Nor are they 'proud' that I live a life eating the same food (for fiber, for vitamin value) every day, drink the same drinks for years. I have such little choice at all and yet, I manage to stay going by planning things out days, weeks ahead of time.

I worked for over a week for the book and paper sale, one I was too sick to attend (thanks Linda). I work as much as is possible for the ebay sale which is on now (another batch of books added thursday and Sunday to make a 80+ book lot), and the first 43+ book lots are selling sunday with another 40-60 selling the next week. Or that due to body exhaustion, oversleeping and drowning feeling of loss of control and a degenerating illness, my isolation has me in the second day where 'Help', 'Won't someone help me', 'I am not a monster' and 'I need love' are written on my arms, and face and no one at my appointment, the waiting room, the home care people in the has said a word. Why? I have the greatest invisibility cloak ever invented, BIGOTRY.

As long as I don't pick up scissors (at which point the Canadian police will likely shoot me), I am clearly someone who is fucked up and not in a way that gets better. And who even knows how to deal with, or ask questions about a person like that? Our society doesn't.

So, I get depressed, I go a bit insane, and still I have to take the mountain of pills, the drinks at the time of the beeps on the watch, the other acts daily to prolong life, a life which is, as I was told when I picked up 'Grace' a documentary on four terminal individuals, to rent, that 'It's long! And not.....' they drift off as they take me in (did they mean, no fun? Funny?).

I said, I kind of hoped that four people's last several months would take longer than nine or 10 minutes each. That got me a walk away, and silence for the rest of my visit. Oh, I'm sorry, was reality the wrong thing to say? I should have said that I was watching it so I could use parts to raise money in a charity drive as I crawl across the length of town? Maybe you would talk to me then? Sigh.

I really have no regret pointing out bigotry, since I was one, though I told myself firmly I wasn't a racist, I simply didn't have in common to talk about (hahaha! Seriously, that's what I thought). I suppose those who ignore me and those like me think that too, though 'I need love' seems a pretty universal message, and I did use a pen this time instead of a knife so it could be read easier.

In the anime, Haibane Renmei, there is a town, which has a wall around it, and while most people are just people, there are a few who come out of a sort of giant organic egg, with wings and halo's. We follow one teen girl who is born, and watches as others either walk out into the woods and disappear, they believe, over the wall, leaving a black halo on the ground, or stay, and the halo flickers and they run out of time. Only those with white wings will fly over the wall. And for reasons of the heart, often never revealed, the feathers turn black. Our heroine, hacks desperately at hers, until one of the older and sadder women show her how to cover her wings, or dye them.

I was listening to a song, Dance until I die, and as usual, it was banal in the 'knowing ignorance' our culture celebrates. Not a song where one has looked at death, or dying, or even applied taking care of your own Nan or Grandfather to the song, no just all of us as teens or 20's or 30's with the freedom of choices so infinite that we don't even realize how many dozen we take for granted just this last hour. The person with stage 4 MS was in their 30's, and they aren't going to be dancing till they die. And while it isn't what you wanted to hear, well, realizing that there is pretty much nothing I do which can or does garner praise no matter how much I push myself answered the question, "Am I proud?"

I live because You sustain me. I die because You ordain it. Save me O Great God. - I wonder, which the person was praying to God for? Until now I always assumed it was for life. (Don't worry, those in disability only have use for 'quality of life' when stable and showing why that isn't a reason to want to die). How, I wonder, did she do it, 16 months on a ventilator, in a room with eight people, never able to speak, never to see her house again, almost always with liquid in her lungs, and no air conditioner in the summer and she was on the side where the sun shone on her. We had a heat wave that summer. She was the same age as me, only I was the one who was 'scared', I was the one who got 'busy' and couldn't visit for a month. BUSY? BUSY??? She's lying there 24/7, the hospital didn't have a portable ventilator, and she has no library, no privacy, a half curtain, endless beeping, and I was the person to bring her DVD sets, not knowing how much that would mean to me later in life.

But I was TOO BUSY?? I was probably doing something like getting the Christmas Concert ready or the HIV/AIDS UN Capital events ready, you know, something to be PROUD about.

Mittwoch, 27. Oktober 2010

design: ruffley beds

i love, love, love frilly & feminine ruffles in fashion so it's only natural that i love ruffles in home decor as well!  & can you think of a better place for ruffles than on beds?  i can't!  here are just a few examples of ruffley bedding ~ ~


incredible ruffle duvet by urban outfitters

the always fabulous blogger ish & chi bought this duvet in white for her bedroom revamp.  take a look:

another ruffle duvet from urban outfitters, this time mimicking a neapolitan ice cream bar:

dark purple throw

find more colors on found first on purple punch

 by delias [found on everything turquoise]


john lewis [found on style & the city]
 rufflely rose pillows by angella eisman [found on the blue house]

ohhhh how i love ruffles!

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