Disabled women and teen girls need orgasms too!
Female equality means masturbation and orgasms, because though 50% of women report feeling guilt over masturbating, while the Surgeon General was fired 15 years ago by suggesting masturbation was okay to do 
and it is a mere 10 years ago when research even started to quantify the female orgasm (about 140 years after the male studies). That's the bad: BUT, the two words that three out of four women picked in a 2002 study for masturbation were in order: ‘Incredible’ and ‘Powerful’ While the word chosen to describe an orgasm with a partner: ‘euphoric’.
(four out of five guys described orgasms as ‘Shooting’ followed by ‘Shuddering’).
So with Xmas coming, snow falling, people driving erratic and competitive, weather making joints ache, relatives and others making the head and shoulders ache, and all the worries of getting everything done, and ready in time doesn’t a bit of ‘Incredible’ and ‘Euphoric’ sound good? Best of all, it’s not just free, it is good for you and what ails you! And women have five different types of orgasms.
An study found that an orgasm can relieve the pain of 47.4% of women having a migraine (Evans & Couch, 2001). Not only does orgasm relieve the pain faster than any medication but the largest group in the study found it relieved ALL migraine pain.
Plus, the Royal Edinburgh Hospital found that for women 40+ who had one or two orgasms looked on average at least 10 years younger.
Seriously.
We know that female masturbation and sex can help with insomnia, by creating a cardio experience followed by relaxation of muscles and endorphins,
the same things which can help with PMS pain. In order to help release pain, which is of high interest to those with chronic conditions with pain, using clitoris training of deep rapid breaths during clitoris stimulation, along with mental practice can release pain and tension and tell the body that pain is actually intense pleasure.
But with so few studies on female masturbation benefits, word of mouth often precedes the ‘science’, and studies of masturbation and sex benefits for women with disabilities or illness are few if any. For example in 2009, the National Institute of Health invested only 2/10th of 1%: $65 million for ANY studies on the top six chronic pain conditions: chronic fatigue syndrome, endometriosis, fibromyalgia, interstitial cystitis, temporomandibular (TMJ) disorders and vulvodynia. And sex research didn't make the list. You can compare that amount to the 1.7 billion spent on research regarding drug abuse. While socially we are taught that women suffer, and should do so in silence. But that’s not equality, or even good science, but lack of research and indifference.
What exactly does this have to do with me? Well, I have been studying using mental stimulation and secondary erogenous zones in regards to masturbation, sex and female neuropathy. You may remember my post Swimming with Dolphins: a disabled girls guide to vibrators. That was for fatigue chronic conditions and masturbation.
But now that I have significant decreased sensation I want to find out if masturbation has relaxation and pain reduction benefits in clitoral/vaginal but also for those with very limited or no sensation. The Christopher Reeve foundation has done some limited research on this, but focusing on traditional sexuality expectations (sex with a partner, a heterosexual ‘vanilla’ experience and vaginal/pelvic sensations). They do have anecdotes about the ‘“phantom orgasm," through reassignment of sexual response to areas of the body unaffected by the injury. This is described as a pleasurable, fantasized orgasm that mentally intensifies an existing sensation.’
The reality is less women with long term chronic conditions/SCI’s and illness are going to have sexual partners. The typical sexual hetero experience, or waiting for one isn’t always or often enough to bring sexual pleasure equality to disabled females. What they describe as ‘phantom orgasm’ is pretty much what I have been and am trying to experiment with: masturbation using mental stimulation for arousal
and secondary erogenous sites (ear lobes, breasts, nape of the neck, etc) to achieve full and then multiple orgasms. Hey, it is a hard job but this brave researcher has volunteered to do it!
I have had success (repeated success!) with mental stimulation (books primarily)
combined with minimal body motion, as well as Eroge (erogenous computer or station games which combine professional voice acting with erotic images but not what would be seen as ‘dirty’)
which is mental with visual and auditory but in the powerchair: no body motion. I am not yet done that research or interviews enough for a full report and write up, plus I want to try different Eroge and also find what is available (there are lesbian Eroge availabe, as well as hetero).
I was approached by a sexual aid company as I have been before to see if I wanted to test and or review their products. I explained that I was only interested in regards to disability related masturbation or couples play, using ‘above the waist’ items. I was offered ball gags and nipple clamps. I explained that ball gags for people with decreased breathing capacity (like me) and as masturbation aid, I couldn’t see it as an easy choice. There was the same with the problems of neuropathy and nipple clamps (my skin tears easier, but I can’t feel it tearing, see the problem!), although the feather stimulation clamps were something to consider later (that would be Linda's eyes bugging out reading this).
We found common ground with a warming, stimulation breast massage gel. They have sent the product and I will try and report on how using primary mental stimulation to arouse the breasts, then application with the gel, if this make this a good product for disabled women to masturbate:
particularly those with neuropathy, fatigue, SCI and limited mobility. Full report in two weeks.
But beyond recommending masturbating (it’s good for you!), if anyone has already found techniques that work particularly with fatigue, limited mobility or neuropathy or with your female pain or disability condition be it chronic fatigue syndrome, endometriosis, fibromyalgia, EDS (are dislocations a problem when masturbating?), MS and others.
Okay, that was supposed to be short and funny but ended with factual and focused.
That works too.
Shiver me timbers!
I be missing ‘Talk like a Pirate Day’ already: so SO many uses of the word ‘booty’. Onward to ‘Speak like a Canadian Mountie Day’ where you have to say, ‘Please’, ‘Thank you’, ‘May I assist you?’, approach anyone who appears to be emotionally of physically troubled to assist. Plus you get to say, ‘Do you realize the speed you were going? Try to remember that there are deer out here as well.” And “Cannabis? Personal Use? Please wait until you get home to have that, miss. Thank you. Please take care while driving and avoid littering.”
Linda is out cycling to return books to the library, pick up pocky and get flowers both gay and glamorous.
Her mission solves my distress upon realization that we had not enough ‘bloom’ around the house (or pocky), so I pitched in for flowers. Wet stuff now falling from the sky (Linda calls it 'bane' or 'rain', whichever), an indication the seasons are changing. However, the construction and noise continues. A care worker from many, many months ago, E., returned today with, ‘Wha? They are STILL working?”
I woke this day with a scream, as my calf went into full locked spasm. Don’t you just hate when that happens?
The spasm was severe enough to rip the muscle and the bleeding under the skin could be seen a minute or two after Linda massaged it down. As E., the care work who had returned looked down in concern I sheepishly smiled and said, “Hi, I guess that was sort of ‘welcome back’”.
A short post to let you know I am trying to blog as regularly as I can (even daily as possible), so please drop on by. Sarcasm, wit and odd word usage to be expected. Don’t miss the blog post below on Hatley castle (plus Victoria, BC 1900’s brand opium and me molesting the wildfowl), with 24+ pictures and three weeks of work.
Now I MUST bid adieu as I return to my research on ‘The disabled female: masturbation and orgasms’
Disability rights, indeed!
Okay, here is the 411 (or Wiki) on me. I worked through the night with Linda and Cheryl to do postcards: please leave your sanity on the coat rack by the door. Little buzzed, and on continuous, and purple. Got that too much work, sleep buzz. Oh yeah, have a fever: week 5.
I had a sort of New Year wish thing, which was that the Make a Wish Foundation would allow R/18 rated wishes. Then Linda and I could do the naughty on a tour of hot tubs which happened to be by all the people who read this blog. A visit with friends AND the naughty 
– no not together, this isn’t the voyeur devo lesbian tour.
That reminds me, I had a new night worker, liked her. I like her, yet somehow, first topic was to ask, after letting her know she did NOT have to do any anal evacuations (the good news!) if, THEORETICALLY, they would be for or against assisting me move to different sexual positions?
Odd look from worker. Must have forgot something. Oh right, told her it was not just me, you know...with Linda in bed.
I stopped.
I realized I was being rude.
“Oh sorry, jumped in, um, did you know I'm lesbian? Cause I am.” Turns out she knew before she came. Okay, good. Wait? How is that? Is it on the staff bulletin board?
Her answer is no, will not assist sex positions. But she will give me a bit of boost when transferring. Oh well. I have no idea if there if going to be a complaint or if she is coming back. I kept going. Why is it once I start speaking the naughty, I just KEEP going?
I said it was unfair. Since a lot of workers have partners and they get home and want to snuggle, want to do a bit more. I have a partner, only I have a night worker to take over when partner is ready to sleep. Except while night workers gets to have sex, I am not supposed to BECAUSE night worker is there. I had missed the ‘nun’ clause in the care plan. She is listed as tasked for dressing and undressing, (see, she needs help undressing/dressing)
and I have used care workers to help me with corsets before. But for strap-ons? No. Because I am disabled, because I am needing a proven pain relief and relaxation technique, I can’t because….I am being taken care of.
Worker has look like my face has opened up and there is a nest of snakes writhing around. I try to make it all better.
‘You know how you wake up horny sometimes?” I ask. The look of sort of fascinated horror while staying out of arms reach from worker intensifies. Best to keep going: “Me TOO! Oh yeah, I am disabled, I am dying but I am not dead yet, you know! I still get those nice erotic dreams and wake up ready. And it is: where is the book? Where is the fantasy and most important, where are the SEX TOYS! Vibrator ho!” Plushies confused, true, but no time to explain.
“And THEN!” I raise my hand to illustrate the frustration. The care worker jumps back a bit. I go on, “Then I am good and going and things are starting to, you know, the hips moving or I think they are moving, it feels like it inside my brain that feeling and that itch, going up, up, building and BAM. The phone rings: ‘BEEP BEEP’, ‘BEEP BEEP’ – the day care worker has arrived to be let in.”
“What am I supposed to do?” I ask plaintively, “Should I let them in but keep on going? Is that what they are going to walk in on while making sure I am not dead and on oxygen? I mean, they masturbate, care workers masturbate, and we masturbate,
disabled women and you probably masturbate.” I try to make the night care worker feel included. Her round wide eyes show maybe that not best move ever.
“Or am I left with this……FRUSTRATION while offered…..grape juice…..a laxative?” Sigh. “My life. It is all run by the timing, the workers only….my orgasms do not follow Beacon Health Care timings, and a laxative and a orgasm is something altogether different”
(please do not share story contesting that!)
This is turns out is not that way to convince the night worker I am intelligent and stable person to work for.
Earlier, another bed day, new worker comes in, I lean WAY back on pillows so they look upside down as my head is backwards, hair hanging down the back of the hospital bed. “I am a doctor!” I say, “I am really smart, honest!” Okay, not subtle, kind of like eight year old saying they are 8 and three quarters.
I can tell, even upside down, that clients who are sprawled all over a hospital bed claiming degrees are not to be believed. “Seriously, I am smart, you can ask me stuff, it is just I get seizures and can’t talk, or talk slow and so people think I am dumb or they treat me like I am 80 years old….. ‘time to have a rest, dear!’ I hate that!” I look the worker upside down in the eyes, “I am NOT 80 years old.”
Did I mention having a fever for a while? I hope they come back.
and it is a mere 10 years ago when research even started to quantify the female orgasm (about 140 years after the male studies). That's the bad: BUT, the two words that three out of four women picked in a 2002 study for masturbation were in order: ‘Incredible’ and ‘Powerful’ While the word chosen to describe an orgasm with a partner: ‘euphoric’.
(four out of five guys described orgasms as ‘Shooting’ followed by ‘Shuddering’).
Seriously.
the same things which can help with PMS pain. In order to help release pain, which is of high interest to those with chronic conditions with pain, using clitoris training of deep rapid breaths during clitoris stimulation, along with mental practice can release pain and tension and tell the body that pain is actually intense pleasure.
and secondary erogenous sites (ear lobes, breasts, nape of the neck, etc) to achieve full and then multiple orgasms. Hey, it is a hard job but this brave researcher has volunteered to do it!
combined with minimal body motion, as well as Eroge (erogenous computer or station games which combine professional voice acting with erotic images but not what would be seen as ‘dirty’)
which is mental with visual and auditory but in the powerchair: no body motion. I am not yet done that research or interviews enough for a full report and write up, plus I want to try different Eroge and also find what is available (there are lesbian Eroge availabe, as well as hetero).
particularly those with neuropathy, fatigue, SCI and limited mobility. Full report in two weeks.
That works too.
