Sonntag, 28. Dezember 2008

UTI fun! We head to the big city for lingerie. Go catboys!

Okay, today was supposed to be the start of the new exciting adventure where the innocent small town girls go off
with wide innocent eyes to the BIG metropolis in order to get steamy hot panties, bras, lingerie, negligee’s and the other essentials of life (like…..bikini’s?).

However, in a medication review it turned out that our doctor had messed up the doses so we were short and thus I spent my time and energy in a waiting room of women with UTI’s (All the doctor’s clinics are closed, and have been since Dec. 23rd – everyone is at home, today is the first day that walk in’s or any clinic is open and having HETERO sex is a common cause of a urinary tract infection – thus I had an almost 2 hour wait as women went into the consult room, came out, went to bathroom, aide got cup o pee, person got prescription and walked out looking much happier). See, just ONE of the dangers of the spreading threat of heterosexuality that you aren’t warned about! I don’t have a problem with ‘the hetero’, I think I have a friend who is ‘a hetero’. I just don’t ask or talk about my sex life so if they are one of ‘those hetero’, you know, the ones with their parades like Thanksgiving Day or July Fourth, New Years with rampant hetero displays, I don’t bring it up. I ask, “Hey, you see that k.d. lang concert?” or “Did you buy a full size wall pic of Angeline Jolie?”, you know, non-sexual questions.

Okay, I got the meds with literally no time to spare, was raced to the boat and have a rough crossing which helped induce a grand mal, then ended up with a mild case of frostbite. So far, I have to believe things will look up tomorrow because one thing that helplessness induces is fear. I am vulnerable, very vulnerable, I sit there waiting for the boat to dock for 10 minutes and I get frostbite. I am afraid, but I am going anyway.

Monday is when I visit Victoria Secret for the sale. Ironically, stripped panties must have a big following in Japan because my wheelchair girl figurine has them, and so Linda bought ME some. Which was sort of odd, but here is another anime girl doing what I will be doing tomorrow, trying on jeans. Since Linda took off my jeans two days ago without unbuttoning them, we are PRETTY sure, I am now two sizes smaller. Wow, would have thought I could drop from a 16 to a 6 in just 12 short months! I call it the Elizabeth wonder diet, and all you have to do is have massive amounts of radiation given to your thyroid to make it go wonky and have a fluctuating blood pressure, and you too can look like me. Yes, your hair may fall out, but no pain, no GAIN. There is a book in the lobby for $24.95, called, From Healthy to Thin: the new diet Revolution. Yes I will be doing signings.

Anyway, I have to head out in the morning so off I go. I will be cuddling up to Linda in the non-infectious and lowest STD phenomenon which is sweeping the nation, true love. Well, also bisexual and lesbian pairings. Woo hoo! We shop together, we sleep together, we buy provocative clothes for each other, and we get to kiss in public now (legally!). Hope you have a good night, and wish us luck, tomorrow I am searching for corsets, and stuff at Hot Topic clearance sale and then on to Tall Girl for jeans.

Then probably more postcards – I just did all the lesbian postcards, and the gay cat boy ones. Can you tell? I don’t think it has changed my worldview at all (we NEED more gay catboys – okay lets start with catboys and THEN move on to gay cat boys nibbling each other’s ears! And catgirls.....ohhhhhh.....yum yum!). Nite!

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